Social Media's Impact on Marriage and Divorce: Insights from Social Media Marketing Expert Kris Ruby

How Social Media Can Impact Marriage & Divorce

November 28, 2018 by

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Social Media Contributes to Divorce Social Media Kris Ruby

Discover how social media influences marriage and divorce. Expert Kris Ruby reveals key red flags to watch for on platforms like Instagram and Facebook.

Social Media and Divorce:

What role does social media play in divorce?

New York Social Media Marketing Expert Kris Ruby was recently on RT America with NY Divorce Attorney James Sexton discussing how Social Media Can Impact Divorce Proceedings. Can Social Media Harm Your Marriage? Click here to watch the full segment.

Social Media’s Impact on Marriage and Divorce: Insights from Social Media Marketing Expert Kris Ruby

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3djIy5zgdYY

 

Are Your Likes Leading to a Divorce? Read This Before You Post

Social media is the necessary evil of our age. We all love it, need it, and—if we’re being brutally honest—use it far more than we probably should. But as you scroll through your feed, liking pictures of adorable puppies and enviable vacation snaps, have you ever paused to consider: Is this harmless scrolling actually a ticking time bomb for your relationship?

Consider this mind-boggling statistic: 81% of divorce cases now involve evidence from social networking sites, primarily Facebook. Eighty-one percent! What does that tell us? For starters, your social media activity isn’t as private as you think. Those innocent likes, comments, and messages could come back to haunt you during divorce proceedings. Think about it—your late-night message to an old flame or that flirty comment on a colleague’s picture are being cataloged somewhere, ready to be used against you as damning evidence in court one day.

Social Media And Divorce Statistics

What percent of divorces are caused by social media?

  • 1 in 7 married individuals have considered divorce because of their spouse’s postings on Facebook or other social media sites. 
  • 14% of adults admit to looking through their partner’s social media accounts for evidence of infidelity.
  • 67% of legal professionals use social media evidence in divorce proceedings.
  • 35% of couples argue about social media posts monthly.
  • 35% of people surveyed admitted to tracking their spouse’s activities via social media.
  • Divorce rates have increased by 4.32% since the rise of social media.
  • 55% of individuals believe that social media plays a role in infidelity.
  • 14% of couples believe that social media damages their relationship.
  • 80% of U.S. divorce attorneys have seen a rise in cases involving social media evidence.
  • Social media activity was mentioned in 30% of U.K. divorce petitions.
  • Social media usage correlates with a 2.5x higher probability of self-reported divorce.
  • 25% of couples consider social media as a strain on their marriage.
  • Social media usage correlates with a 2.5x higher probability of self-reported divorce.
  • 20% of married people feel jealous of their partner’s social media interactions.
  • 30% of divorces cite Facebook as a contributing factor.
  • Social media infidelity contributes to 17% of divorces.

In the digital age, social media has woven itself intricately into the fabric of our lives, shaping interactions and, notably, the dynamics of relationships. A recent interview with social media expert Kris Ruby highlights a striking consequence of this interconnectedness: a staggering 81% of divorce cases now feature evidence obtained from social networking sites, particularly Facebook. This statistic serves as a stark warning about how social media can act as a double-edged sword, fostering connections while simultaneously breeding misunderstandings and conflicts.

In the TV segment on social media and relationships, social media expert Kristen Ruby shares vital practices to safeguard relationships in an era dominated by likes, shares, and private messages. One of her key pieces of advice is the importance of setting boundaries with partners regarding social media interactions. The digital world is often perceived as a private haven, yet, as Ruby points out, the illusion of privacy can be deceiving. Even with stringent privacy settings, shared friendships can become a conduit for unwanted information flow. The essence of her message emphasizes self-awareness and discretion: choices made online can ripple outwards, affecting not just individuals but their significant others as well.

Drawing from his professional experiences, divorce attorney James Sexton adds another layer of understanding to this debate. He recants anecdotes that illustrate the pitfalls of careless posting. Imagine a spouse caught sharing pictures of seemingly extravagant nights out or private messages that lead to questioning commitment; such oversights can unravel relationships faster than one might predict. Sexton likens the act of posting on social media to broadcasting one’s life in a bustling public square, a salient reminder that what is thought to be private can quickly morph into public knowledge, often with damaging consequences.

Yet, social media’s influence operates on a deeper level, tapping into the realms of psychology and human behavior. Ruby discusses how regular engagement with these platforms can trigger a dopamine response, creating an addictive cycle where individuals chase likes, comments, and virtual validation. This addictive behavior can subtly erode real-life connections. Many find themselves turning to social media during periods of loneliness, leading to detrimental comparisons with the polished, curated lives showcased by others. Such comparisons can stir feelings of dissatisfaction and longing for a different life—or partner—fueling a cycle of discontent and unrealistic expectations.

Compounding this complexity is the phenomenon of the “freshly discovered soulmate,” a modern trend where individuals reconnect with past relationships or acquaintances via social media. These reconnections often surface during times of personal dissatisfaction, driven by a magnetic pull toward the seemingly perfect lives of others. However, this can lead to unrealistic comparisons, fostering dissatisfaction in current relationships and increasing the risk of infidelity. Sexton warns that just because the grass appears greener on the other side, it doesn’t guarantee fulfillment; social media often distorts reality by presenting a curated narrative that may not reflect the truth of someone’s life.

As we reflect on the narrative of social media’s impact on relationships, it becomes clear that navigating this landscape requires intention and awareness. From setting boundaries and exercising caution in online interactions to pondering the psychological effects of our digital habits, understanding social media’s pervasive role in modern love is essential. The challenges presented are multifaceted, touching on issues of trust, digital privacy, and the pursuit of online validation.

By recognizing the potent influence social media has on the future of real world elationships, individuals can engage more thoughtfully, ensuring the lines between their digital and emotional lives do not blur in ways that may lead to inevitable heartache. Through this lens, it becomes evident that loving wisely in the age of social media demands a careful balance, making it crucial to tread thoughtfully in both virtual and real worlds.

Social media expert Kristen Ruby has some sage advice: keep your digital interactions above board. Want to ensure your relationship remains unblemished by the pitfalls of social media? Then it’s time to establish some concrete boundaries. For instance, avoid sending private messages to members of the opposite sex. Seems like common sense? You’d be surprised. Your private privacy settings are not as private as you think. Mutual friends are often way too happy to screenshot and share your discretions, turning your private moments into public scandals with your spouse, colleagues, or even members of the media.

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In the segment, James Sexton, a divorce attorney who’s seen it all, recounts stories that would make your hair stand on end—relationships unraveled by a single, thoughtless social media post. Picture this: Someone posts a compromising image or lies about their whereabouts, only for it to be used against them in court. Sexton likens it to broadcasting your personal life on a giant screen in Times Square. Does that sound like a private act to you?

All of this is before we even touch on the psychology of it. Kris Ruby points out that those little red notifications aren’t just harmless indicators of social engagement— they’re mini dopamine hits that fuel an addictive cycle of seeking validation. This crave for digital appreciation can make us prioritize online interactions over real-life ones, slowly eating away at our relationships. Even worse, Sexton highlights that many turn to social media during lonely moments, creating a toxic cocktail of envy and dissatisfaction by comparing our mundanity to others curated highlights and reels.

Let’s not forget the cherry on top: the ‘freshly discovered soulmate’ phenomenon. Ever had a rekindled connection on social media during a rough patch? Sexton warns that the picture-perfect lives we see on social media make us long for a previously untapped potential for happiness, leading to infidelity risks and distorted perceptions of our current relationships.

What’s the key takeaway here? Be mindful and intentional about your social media habits and how your actions impact others around you, including your spouse. Remember, it’s not only your public facade at stake—your relationship’s integrity hangs in the balance.

I challenge you to re-evaluate your social media behavior today. What digital boundaries will you set to safeguard your relationship?

Until next time, think before you post.

PS: Ready to take your social media habits under control? Check out our top 10 tips for maintaining a healthy digital presence in relationships. Don’t be that 81%.

Divorces from social media use on the rise

Couples who met on social media are three times more likely to divorce compared to those who met face-to-face.

According to a Divorce-Online study, Facebook was cited as a reason for a third of divorce filings in one year. Social media evidence is regularly used in divorce cases. No, we aren’t just referring to dating apps. Regular apps like Facebook, Instagram, and even Twitter are the top offenders. 80 % of U.S. divorce lawyers say social media evidence is increasingly cited in divorce cases across The United States.

Here are some startling new statistics:

  • Over 60% of divorce cases used social media activity as evidence in 2021.
  • 20% of sexual online encounters led to real-time affairs, which contributed to marital discord.
  • 48% of couples argue about the time spent on social media.
  • 31% of people who met their partners online report that social media has had an impact on their relationship stability.”
  • 20% of divorce cases involve Facebook.
  • In over 30% of divorce cases, the word “Facebook” appears somewhere in the litigation.
  • 22% of people have found love messages to other people on their partner’s social media.
  • 55% of lawyers cite an increase in the use of Instagram evidence in divorce proceedings from the previous year.
  • 17% of people admit to having an emotional affair started on social media.

Social Media Cheating Signs

The impact of social media on relationships

Many people do not realize the role social media can play in breaking up a relationship. There are so many ways to micro cheat on social media today, which can ultimately harm your relationship. Unfortunately, people do not see it as cheating because it is not technically cheating in the physical world. It is imperative to understand what micro-cheating is on social media.

What is micro-cheating? 

Micro-cheating is a term to describe any action on social media that can hurt your partner’s sense of security in the relationship. The definition of micro-cheating on social media really depends on both partners in a relationship and what they feel comfortable with. For example, are you comfortable with your significant other:

  • Liking photos of potential new partners
  • Leaving comments on photos of potential new partners
  • Tagging friends of the potential new love interest
  • Friending/following people they do not know or have an existing relationship with
  • Engaging in direct messaging on Facebook and Instagram with new pursuits
  • Deleting messages with new love interests received on social media
  • Appearing in tagged photos with people you do not know or recognize

If you do not outline your social media expectations in a relationship, you are setting yourself up for disaster. Social Media has the ability to destroy your relationship if one person has very liberal views on these topics, while the other has very conservative views and isn’t comfortable with any of these areas listed above.

How Micro-Cheating Destroys Relationships

Social media can affect your relationship with your significant other by eroding trust and making one person feel uncomfortable if their boundaries are constantly crossed with what they feel is inappropriate digital communication. The only way to know this is to ask them and set up digital relationship rules. Yes, it may not be romantic and may feel like more of a legal approach, but it can ultimately save the relationship long term from hurt feelings and eroded trust and insecurity.

Social Media Cheating Red Flags

Social Media apps are a mixed bag when it comes to spotting a cheater. On the one hand, you used to be able to go through someone’s text messages and easily see if they were talking with someone else. But now, most cheaters are social media savvy and would never think of having these conversations via iMessage. Instead, they carry on full-blown conversations with others via direct message on Instagram or disappearing messages on Snapchat. They also typically have their phones locked and password protected, making it more challenging to spot.

Facebook Cheating Red Flags

Periodically check the Friend tab on Facebook for “recently added” friends. If your partner continues to add members of the opposite sex weekly, this could be a red flag. Where are they meeting these new virtual friends from? Networking? Dating apps? Be on the lookout for “Facebombing,” which is the equivalent of love bombing when you meet someone new online. If your partner starts obsessively liking every single post of a new Facebook friend, this may indicate a deeper romantic interest. You can also search the Facebook tab for “photos liked by profile name.” Insert your partner’s profile name to see what photos they have liked if all of their activity is not coming to the top of your feed.

Snapchat Cheating Red Flags

Does your partner have a snap streak with someone that you have never heard of? This is a clear giveaway they may be cheating. Also, pay close attention to Snapchat points. Whenever you send a snap to someone, your points grow. If your partner doesn’t have that many friends on Snapchat and isn’t Snapping with you that much, they may be snapping with someone else.

Instagram Cheating Red Flags

The easiest way to tell if your partner is cheating is by looking at their recent user activity and logs. Pay close attention to who they are following, the posts they like, and the comments they leave. If they continue to like photos of someone you have never heard of, that could be a giveaway they may be up to no good. Additionally, pay attention to who likes your partner’s photos and leaves comments on their posts.

Pay attention to whether or not they allow a photo tag on Instagram when you tag a photo with them. Partners who cheat on social media are usually very discreet and will not allow photo tags on Instagram because they don’t want the other person to see they are dating numerous people at once. Instagram DM (direct message) is the primary location where everything is taking place in the world of digital dating. If someone is cheating, they may be having a private conversation with another person via Instagram DM. The most important clues are often in private, instead of public communications. This is why so many of these private communications are used in divorce litigation.

Another feature of Instagram is the ability to see when someone was last active. If your partner has turned off read receipts on iMessage, check Instagram direct messages and see when they were last active. If they are currently active on Instagram DM, they are most likely ignoring your messages and speaking with someone else. That being said, there are many other ways to privately message someone these days. From Signal to Discord or even Telegram, there are numerous hidden platforms to speak with someone new.

Instagram Story Stalking

If you have access to your partners Instagram account, look at who is viewing their stories. If you notice the same person repeatedly viewing their stories, this is cause for concern. Also, be sure to pay close attention to who is viewing your stories. The same person is probably stalking your every move and watching your Instagram stories. Periodically check the people who are viewing your stories to see if they are unfamiliar. Sure, everyone gets random Instagram viewers from time to time checking out their stories, but if you see the same unknown person stalking your Instagram stories for weeks, its suspicious.

Many ex-partners lurk on social media and do not realize users can see who watches their content. This is especially true for TikTok, where you can see who is sharing a link to your account, which is also a dead giveaway.

For example, some ex’s watch your new partners Instagram story from their personal Instagram account not realizing the new girlfriend or boyfriend can see it. If you are going to engage in Instagram story stalking, create a burner account not linked to your name. That being said, we do not recommend any form of stalking at all, and this type of work is best left up to a trained private investigator or social media detective.

Private Investigators on Social Media

Contact Ruby Media Group today to learn more about our Digital Forensics and social media intelligence service.

SOCIAL MEDIA CHEATING RESOURCES | PRESS 

Kris Ruby quoted in Elite Daily article on Social Media Story Stalking trend. “If your boyfriends parents watch your Instagram stories, Experts say thats significant.”

Ruby Media Group. “Are you digitally compatible? How social media destroys relationships”

Observer article by Kris Ruby. “10 Dead Digital Giveaways You’re Dating a Player” 

Kris Ruby quoted in Rewire article. “3 Ways Social Media May Be Hurting Your Love Life”