Article by Jason Fell
Read the full article here “Entrepreneur Magazine: What a Dating Experiment Taught This Entrepreneur“
For on-the-go entrepreneurs, finding love isn’t easy. When every waking hour is spent growing a business and chasing your dream, how the heck are you supposed to squeeze in time for anyone else? Even the most successful people in business discover that dating and romance can be a tricky task.
Just ask 28-year-old Kris Ruby, founder of New York City-based public relations firm Ruby Media Group. She and longtime friend Alex Goldman — an entrepreneur himself, having started Five Senses Catering in New York City — starred on Bravo’s Friends to Lovers TV show. The idea, unless the title gave it away, was to find out if friends could indeed develop a successful romantic relationship.
“I encouraged him to start his own business and was intrigued when he followed my direction and started his company,” Ruby tells Entrepreneur. “That piqued my interest.”
Over the course of about a year, Bravo’s TV crew followed Ruby and Goldman around Manhattan and Ruby’s hometown in Westchester County, N.Y., chronicling their path to love. Unfortunately, they weren’t destined to be more than just friends. Goldman eventually got back together with an ex-girlfriend, and Ruby is back to work and also working on herself — personally and as an entrepreneur.
“[The show] was a tremendous growth opportunity,” Ruby says. “I saw a lot of things I didn’t like about myself after the show and definitely want to focus on fixing those character defects.”
Here are five lessons Ruby learned from the show about being better personally and professionally:
1. Always shower clients with attention.
Whether it’s a love interest or business client, people invest time and money with you and deserve your attention. You can’t fake it or put people off.
“This reality show took a year for me to film while I was simultaneously running an agency and doing TV news segments,” Ruby explains. “I thought I could juggle everything and keep clients happy while filming, but I learned that it was nearly impossible to do it all.”
Just like with personal relationships, if you let things build up in business relationships for too long without any attention, the relationship will sour. “I now realize that it’s the relationship that keeps the client happy in addition to all of the work. If you don’t keep up the personal relationship with your client, the business relationship will eventually fall apart,” Ruby says. “As my business coach Drew McLellan said, ‘Clients are a lot like boyfriends or girlfriends. They need a lot of tending to and love. No one wants to feel like they are not the most important thing in the world to you.'”
2. How you are one way is how you are every way.
If you have trouble making or keeping commitments in your personal or dating life, you will most likely have the same issues in business. “I used to think there was such a separation between my personal life and business life,” Ruby says. “My business life was completely put together — my personal life needed a lot more work, as evidenced on the show.”
While finding true work-life balance can be difficult, Ruby believes entrepreneurs should have stability and happiness in their personal lives, otherwise that imbalance “will pour-over and your clients will eventually feel it.”
3. Put the smartphone down.
As a PR and social media strategist, Ruby is often on her smartphone texting, tweeting and sending emails. But even in this always-on, hyper-connected world, in-person communication trumps digital messages when it comes to keeping clients (and love interests) engaged and happy.
“I was totally wrong on this one and thought texting and emailing would suffice. … I learned my lesson,” Ruby says. “Clients need real in-person love and just texting will get you canned. You actually make it harder on yourself and the relationship by turning it into a long-distance relationship when it doesn’t have to be.”
4. Success is an illusion.
Just because you may be successful in one area of your life — such as your business — it doesn’t mean success in your personal life will come easy.
“People automatically assume that if you are a woman in business who has reached a certain level of success, you have everything together,” Ruby says. “As leaders, we need to come out and admit that we don’t always have it together.
“Even if every episode did not show my most glowing moments,” she continues, “I at least showed other women that you can be successful in one area of your life and totally unsuccessful in other areas — in my case, love.”
5. Know the breakup signals.
In many ways, romantic relationships mirror professional ones. When a client wants to talk about the future or go in a different direction, you are about to be fired, Ruby says.
“Breakups with clients can hurt just as much as personal relationship break ups,” she says. “If a client wants to move on, you can’t force them to tell you why. You have to accept that you don’t control the situation and move on.”
KRIS RUBY is the CEO of Ruby Media Group, an award-winning public relations and media relations agency in Westchester County, New York. Kris Ruby has more than 15 years of experience in the Media industry. She is a sought-after media relations strategist, content creator and public relations consultant. Kris Ruby is also a national television commentator and political pundit and she has appeared on national TV programs over 200 times covering big tech bias, politics and social media. She is a trusted media source and frequent on-air commentator on social media, tech trends and crisis communications and frequently speaks on FOX News and other TV networks. She has been featured as a published author in OBSERVER, ADWEEK, and countless other industry publications. Her research on brand activism and cancel culture is widely distributed and referenced. She graduated from Boston University’s College of Communication with a major in public relations and is a founding member of The Young Entrepreneurs Council. She is also the host of The Kris Ruby Podcast Show, a show focusing on the politics of big tech and the social media industry. Kris is focused on PR for SEO and leveraging content marketing strategies to help clients get the most out of their media coverage.